Personal tools

Humor/Dialogs

From HaskellWiki

< Humor(Difference between revisions)
Jump to: navigation, search
 
(sm fmt)
Line 2: Line 2:
   
 
Greedy Son: Dad, I need some new clothes. Gimme some money.
 
Greedy Son: Dad, I need some new clothes. Gimme some money.
Strict Dad: How many money do you need (pulls out wad of bills...)
+
Strict Dad: How many money do you need [pulls out wad of bills]
 
Greedy Son: Mind your own business! I don't tell you how to earn the money,
 
Greedy Son: Mind your own business! I don't tell you how to earn the money,
 
so don't tell me how to spend it! I'll ask Mom instead.
 
so don't tell me how to spend it! I'll ask Mom instead.
Line 10: Line 10:
   
 
Student: I need a list of prime numbers
 
Student: I need a list of prime numbers
Teacher: Easy. I'll give you the first one: 2. Now test each odd integer starting at 3
+
Teacher: Easy. I'll give you the first one: 2. Now test each odd integer starting at 3 and try dividing by every prime up to its square root.
and try dividing by every prime up to its square root.
 
 
Student: But I need to already know the primes in order to divide them into my candidates, don't I?
 
Student: But I need to already know the primes in order to divide them into my candidates, don't I?
 
Teacher: No problem, I have an infinite list of them! I'll make you a deal.
 
Teacher: No problem, I have an infinite list of them! I'll make you a deal.
 
I'll feed you these divisor primes as you need them, and you tell
 
I'll feed you these divisor primes as you need them, and you tell
 
me whether your numerator ended up being prime.
 
me whether your numerator ended up being prime.
Student: Ok, 3 is the next prime number
+
Student: OK, 3 is the next prime number
Teacher: [Surreptitiously writes this down on his list]
+
Teacher: [Quickly writes this down on his list]
 
Student: Hey, you're cheating! I'm the one doing all the work here! I'm
 
Student: Hey, you're cheating! I'm the one doing all the work here! I'm
 
generating primes faster than I need them, so really I'm stealing
 
generating primes faster than I need them, so really I'm stealing
Line 27: Line 27:
   
 
Athlete: I run on an infinitely long track. I can go forever in a straight line without coming to the end.
 
Athlete: I run on an infinitely long track. I can go forever in a straight line without coming to the end.
Trainer: Dummy, you're running on a treadmill. Look around, the walls aren't even moving.
+
Trainer: Dummy, you're running on a treadmill. Look around: the walls aren't even moving.
 
Athlete: I can't, the lights are off. The only thing I can see is the lighted path at my feet.
 
Athlete: I can't, the lights are off. The only thing I can see is the lighted path at my feet.
 
Trainer: Moron! Don't you see that number "2" painted on the treadmill that keeps repeating every couple meters?
 
Trainer: Moron! Don't you see that number "2" painted on the treadmill that keeps repeating every couple meters?
Line 34: Line 34:
 
Athlete: Prove it!
 
Athlete: Prove it!
 
Trainer: Easy, I'll just write a "3" next to it. See, the "2" is gone, now it's "23".
 
Trainer: Easy, I'll just write a "3" next to it. See, the "2" is gone, now it's "23".
Athlete: Now who's the dummy. You know this ground is immutable, chalk won't stick to it.
+
Athlete: Now who's the dummy? You know this ground is immutable - chalk won't stick to it.
 
You must have transported me to a completely different track where the number "23" is written over and over.
 
You must have transported me to a completely different track where the number "23" is written over and over.
 
That God must be powerful to have made so many tracks like this.
 
That God must be powerful to have made so many tracks like this.
Trainer: Your logic is too lazy for me. You can't tell the difference between
+
Trainer: Your logic is too lazy for me. You can't tell the difference between an infinite list and a cyclic one.
an infinite list and a cyclic one.
 
 
Athlete: What do I care? I still get all the exercise I need!
 
Athlete: What do I care? I still get all the exercise I need!

Revision as of 16:14, 9 December 2007

  • Laziness
  Greedy Son: Dad, I need some new clothes. Gimme some money.
  Strict Dad: How many money do you need [pulls out wad of bills]
  Greedy Son: Mind your own business! I don't tell you how to earn the money,
              so don't tell me how to spend it! I'll ask Mom instead.
  Lazy Mom  : Here's a credit card, Son. Just charge what you need.
  • Borrowing from the Future
  Student: I need a list of prime numbers
  Teacher: Easy. I'll give you the first one: 2. Now test each odd integer starting at 3 and try dividing by every prime up to its square root.
  Student: But I need to already know the primes in order to divide them into my candidates, don't I?
  Teacher: No problem, I have an infinite list of them! I'll make you a deal.
           I'll feed you these divisor primes as you need them, and you tell
           me whether your numerator ended up being prime.
  Student: OK, 3 is the next prime number
  Teacher: [Quickly writes this down on his list]
  Student: Hey, you're cheating! I'm the one doing all the work here! I'm
           generating primes faster than I need them, so really I'm stealing
           from myself. What's the use pretending I'm getting them from you?
  Teacher: No, I'm just doodling, I really do know all the primes. Your code
           is much simpler with me handing you the divisor primes anyway.
           What do you care where I get them from? It's no extra work for you!
  • Running in Circles
  Athlete: I run on an infinitely long track. I can go forever in a straight line without coming to the end.
  Trainer: Dummy, you're running on a treadmill. Look around: the walls aren't even moving.
  Athlete: I can't, the lights are off. The only thing I can see is the lighted path at my feet.
  Trainer: Moron! Don't you see that number "2" painted on the treadmill that keeps repeating every couple meters?
  Athlete: Of course, amazing how someone had the patience to keep painting the number 2 over and over.
  Trainer: Has it occurred to you that that is the same number "2" going by each time?
  Athlete: Prove it!
  Trainer: Easy, I'll just write a "3" next to it. See, the "2" is gone, now it's "23".
  Athlete: Now who's the dummy? You know this ground is immutable - chalk won't stick to it.
           You must have transported me to a completely different track where the number "23" is written over and over.
           That God must be powerful to have made so many tracks like this.
  Trainer: Your logic is too lazy for me. You can't tell the difference between an infinite list and a cyclic one.
  Athlete: What do I care? I still get all the exercise I need!