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Humor/Flakes

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[Close up of the boy looking dejectedly at his bowl of cereal.]
 
[Close up of the boy looking dejectedly at his bowl of cereal.]
   
<table> <tr> <td align=left, valign=top>
+
<table> <tr> <td align=left, valign=top> Boy: &nbsp;</td><td align=left, valign=top> "Mom, I'm sick of ordinary cereals! Don't you have anything new?" </td></tr></table>
Boy:
+
&nbsp;</td><td align=left, valign=top>
+
<table> <tr> <td align=left, valign=top> Mom: &nbsp;</td><td align=left, valign=top> "Try this, honey!" [hands the boy a colorful package, the words Haskell emblazoned across the front and top, over a large lambda logo] </td></tr></table>
"Mom, I'm sick of ordinary cereals! Don't you have anything new?"
+
</td></tr></table>
+
<table> <tr> <td align=left, valign=top> Boy: &nbsp;</td><td align=left, valign=top> [after pouring the cereal flakes into his bowl and cramming a spoonful into his mouth] "Mmm! What is it?" </td></tr></table>
<p>
+
<table> <tr> <td align=left, valign=top>
+
<table> <tr> <td align=left, valign=top> Mom: &nbsp;</td><td align=left, valign=top> "It's called Haskell! The ingredients are all natural! No chemical additives!" </td></tr></table>
Mom:
+
&nbsp;</td><td align=left, valign=top>
+
<table> <tr> <td align=left, valign=top> Boy: &nbsp;</td><td align=left, valign=top> "And it tastes great too!" [rotates his baseball cap back-to-front and with a look of determination starts shoveling the flakes greedily down his throat] </td></tr></table>
"Try this, honey!" [hands the boy a colorful package, the words Haskell
+
emblazoned across the front and top, over a large lambda logo]
 
</td></tr></table>
 
<p>
 
<table> <tr> <td align=left, valign=top>
 
Boy:
 
&nbsp;</td><td align=left, valign=top>
 
[after pouring the cereal flakes into his bowl and cramming a spoonful
 
into his mouth] "Mmm! What is it?"
 
</td></tr></table>
 
<p>
 
<table> <tr> <td align=left, valign=top>
 
Mom:
 
&nbsp;</td><td align=left, valign=top>
 
"It's called Haskell! The ingredients are all natural! No chemical
 
additives!"
 
</td></tr></table>
 
<p>
 
<table> <tr> <td align=left, valign=top>
 
Boy:
 
&nbsp;</td><td align=left, valign=top>
 
"And it tastes great too!" [rotates his baseball cap back-to-front
 
and with a look of determination starts shoveling the flakes greedily down
 
his throat]
 
</td></tr></table>
 
<p>
 
 
[Pan to Dad walking in, suit jacket draped over one arm and still fumbling
 
[Pan to Dad walking in, suit jacket draped over one arm and still fumbling
 
boyishly with his tie.]
 
boyishly with his tie.]
<p>
+
<table> <tr> <td align=left, valign=top>
+
<table> <tr> <td align=left, valign=top> Dad: &nbsp;</td><td align=left, valign=top> "Gosh! Something sure smells good this morning!" [sniffs experimentally at the Haskell flakes, then notices the box of Haskell cereal sitting prominently in the middle of the table; lifts the box and peers at it; suddenly his eyes widen with recognition] "Hey! Is this that Haskell I've been hearing about?" </td></tr></table>
Dad:
+
&nbsp;</td><td align=left, valign=top>
+
<table> <tr> <td align=left, valign=top> Mom:
"Gosh! Something sure smells good this morning!" [sniffs experimentally
+
&nbsp;</td><td align=left, valign=top> "Yes, it's new and improved!" [takes the Haskell box and taps one finger conspicuously at the place where a large "1.4" is visible] </td></tr></table>
at the Haskell flakes, then notices the box of Haskell cereal
+
sitting prominently in the middle of the table; lifts the box and peers
+
<table> <tr> <td align=left, valign=top>Dad:
at it; suddenly his eyes widen with recognition] "Hey! Is this that
+
&nbsp;</td><td align=left, valign=top> "Wow, count me in too!" [forgets about his tie and slips quickly into a chair at the breakfast table; lifts an empty cereal bowl expectantly in Mom's direction]</td></tr></table>
Haskell I've been hearing about?"
+
</td></tr></table>
+
<table> <tr> <td align=left, valign=top>Mom:&nbsp;</td><td align=left, valign=top> [smiles as if she knew this would happen, then steps forward, holds the box of Haskell in both hands next to her glowing face and looks straight at the camera] "Haskell! A great way to start the morning!"</td></tr></table>
<p>
+
<table> <tr> <td align=left, valign=top>
+
<table> <tr> <td align=left, valign=top>Dad:&nbsp;</td><td align=left, valign=top>[in the background, whining] "Honey!" </td></tr></table>
Mom:
+
&nbsp;</td><td align=left, valign=top>
+
<table> <tr> <td align=left, valign=top>Mom:&nbsp;</td><td align=left, valign=top> [now laughing, shakes her head as if to say 'tsk, tsk', and hurries back to the table to serve her hubby a fresh bowl of Haskell flakes]</td></tr></table>
"Yes, it's new and improved!" [takes the Haskell box and taps one finger
+
conspicuously at the place where a large "1.4" is visible]
 
</td></tr></table>
 
<p>
 
<table> <tr> <td align=left, valign=top>
 
Dad:
 
&nbsp;</td><td align=left, valign=top>
 
"Wow, count me in too!" [forgets about his tie and slips quickly into
 
a chair at the breakfast table; lifts an empty cereal bowl expectantly
 
in Mom's direction]
 
</td></tr></table>
 
<p>
 
<table> <tr> <td align=left, valign=top>
 
Mom:
 
&nbsp;</td><td align=left, valign=top>
 
[smiles as if she knew this would happen, then steps forward, holds the
 
box of Haskell in both hands next to her glowing face and looks straight
 
at the camera] "Haskell! A great way to start the morning!"
 
</td></tr></table>
 
<p>
 
<table> <tr> <td align=left, valign=top>
 
Dad:
 
&nbsp;</td><td align=left, valign=top>
 
[in the background, whining] "Honey!"
 
</td></tr></table>
 
<p>
 
<table> <tr> <td align=left, valign=top>
 
Mom:
 
&nbsp;</td><td align=left, valign=top>
 
[now laughing, shakes her head as if to say 'tsk, tsk', and hurries
 
back to the table to serve her hubby a fresh bowl of Haskell flakes]
 
</td></tr></table>
 
<p>
 
 
[FADE OUT]
 
[FADE OUT]
<hr>
+
----
 
David Hanley ([email protected]) wrote:
 
David Hanley ([email protected]) wrote:
 
<blockquote>
 
<blockquote>
Line 50: Line 50:
 
scheme.
 
scheme.
 
</blockquote>
 
</blockquote>
<p>
+
 
Try Haskell. Haskell's lazy semantics are simpler to reason with than ML's.
 
Try Haskell. Haskell's lazy semantics are simpler to reason with than ML's.
 
The language has a lot of sugar, but the syntax is pretty intuitive (compared
 
The language has a lot of sugar, but the syntax is pretty intuitive (compared
Line 56: Line 56:
 
language is much, much simpler than SML's, yet nearly as powerful [1]. Also,
 
language is much, much simpler than SML's, yet nearly as powerful [1]. Also,
 
since there are no implicit side-effects, there are fewer gotcha's in general.
 
since there are no implicit side-effects, there are fewer gotcha's in general.
<p>
+
 
[1] Nicklish, Jan and Peyton Jones, Simon. "An Exploration of Modular
 
[1] Nicklish, Jan and Peyton Jones, Simon. "An Exploration of Modular
 
Programs." The Glasgow Workshop on Functional Programming, 1996.
 
Programs." The Glasgow Workshop on Functional Programming, 1996.

Latest revision as of 06:43, 24 January 2006

[edit] Haskell Flakes

Shamelessly stolen from comp.lang.ml -- ed

(Note there's actually a response at the end of this message...)

[FADE IN]

[A young boy sits at a table in the kitchen. Outside the window we see the morning sun setting in a rich blue sky over rolling green hills and yellow flowers. The young boy's ravishing mother stands by the kitchen counter, looking busy making bag lunches.]

[Close up of the boy looking dejectedly at his bowl of cereal.]

Boy:   "Mom, I'm sick of ordinary cereals! Don't you have anything new?"
Mom:   "Try this, honey!" [hands the boy a colorful package, the words Haskell emblazoned across the front and top, over a large lambda logo]
Boy:   [after pouring the cereal flakes into his bowl and cramming a spoonful into his mouth] "Mmm! What is it?"
Mom:   "It's called Haskell! The ingredients are all natural! No chemical additives!"
Boy:   "And it tastes great too!" [rotates his baseball cap back-to-front and with a look of determination starts shoveling the flakes greedily down his throat]

[Pan to Dad walking in, suit jacket draped over one arm and still fumbling boyishly with his tie.]

Dad:   "Gosh! Something sure smells good this morning!" [sniffs experimentally at the Haskell flakes, then notices the box of Haskell cereal sitting prominently in the middle of the table; lifts the box and peers at it; suddenly his eyes widen with recognition] "Hey! Is this that Haskell I've been hearing about?"
Mom:   "Yes, it's new and improved!" [takes the Haskell box and taps one finger conspicuously at the place where a large "1.4" is visible]
Dad:   "Wow, count me in too!" [forgets about his tie and slips quickly into a chair at the breakfast table; lifts an empty cereal bowl expectantly in Mom's direction]
Mom:  [smiles as if she knew this would happen, then steps forward, holds the box of Haskell in both hands next to her glowing face and looks straight at the camera] "Haskell! A great way to start the morning!"
Dad: [in the background, whining] "Honey!"
Mom:  [now laughing, shakes her head as if to say 'tsk, tsk', and hurries back to the table to serve her hubby a fresh bowl of Haskell flakes]

[FADE OUT]


David Hanley ([email protected]) wrote:

Is there any language which is a somewhat simplified ML? I like the type system of ML, but the all-encompassing language is somewhat complex. I suppose what I am looking for would be something like strongly-typed scheme.

Try Haskell. Haskell's lazy semantics are simpler to reason with than ML's. The language has a lot of sugar, but the syntax is pretty intuitive (compared to SML's, at least, which seems to get a lot of complaints). Haskell's module language is much, much simpler than SML's, yet nearly as powerful [1]. Also, since there are no implicit side-effects, there are fewer gotcha's in general.

[1] Nicklish, Jan and Peyton Jones, Simon. "An Exploration of Modular Programs." The Glasgow Workshop on Functional Programming, 1996.

-- 
Frank Christoph                 Next Solution Co.      Tel: 0424-98-1811
[email protected]                             Fax: 0424-98-1500